Truffle Taco Finale
You voted and we listened, especially since you voted for the selection we had already decided upon without you. Yesterday afternoon, we patroned a local New York City Indian themed Taco Bell and dined on presumably the first ever white truffle beef Soft Taco Supreme (no sour cream). As we dined on this Italian-exican delicacy, we took a moment to give thanks to all those who we squashed under-our-thumb this past year. From scorning a toll booth attendant to an impoverished homeless schlub with a cigar, each a lesser sophisticant than the likes of those who would venture to spend thousands of dollars for an uprooted fungus. Woe to those whose stomach do not now churn acids and mold, for you are but meager mentions of angst towards our beleaguered technological comforts. In all, it was four day old shaved Earth feces soiling a perfectly proper processed taco.
Pet Door Brush (Updated)

[Update] Yowza! When engineering a new project, we are often quite liberal about researching existing materials before moving forward and (ungracefully) while we disagree with their particular methodology, we will surrender that this (currently unavailable) one slipped through the cracks. []

[Update Part Deux] Ours is better. If anyone wants it, we demand 23.75 per cent and our services labelled, Analogue Anatomical Contortion Deviation Toilance. It's rubber, genius.
In The Meantime, Sandwich Recipe #4
As we fester here in this pre-#Project47 lunch break limbo, why not have a Tv's #4 sandwich on me; layered as described.

Sheepherder's Bread Slice
French's Yellow Mustard
Shredded Cheddar Cheese
Garlic Salt
Black Pepper
Turkey Ham Slices
Minced Garlic
Olive Oil
Sliced Cherry Tomatoes
Diced White Onion
Romaine Lettuce (Marinate in Orange Juice)
Shredded Parmesan Cheese
1000 Islands Dressing
Sheepherder's Bread Slice
Brainwashing #1
We are temporarily (archetypal) initiating a new series here on where we harken back to our original commentary series, but abridge it into a sole thought-of-the-day.

Episode #1 Environment Dictates?

Here's a bit of a quandary. Washington D.C., New York City and Chicago are perceived as representations of capitals of the United States of America and even deemed capitals of the world in a similar manner. There is, however, a slight burden with these environments representative of America.

(To note, Los Angeles has been excluded because the "entertainment capital of the world" denomination has done very little to entitle California to hold an overwhelming bearing on legislative matters, especially since Northern and Southern are so drastically divided fundamentally.)

The national demographic of the United States of America as of last year was:
64% White 16% Hispanic 13% Black 5% Asian

Washington D.C.
50% Black (+37) 30% White (-34) 9% Hispanic (-7) 4% Asian (-1)
New York City
33% White (-31) 29% Hispanic (+13) 23% Black (+10) 13% Asian (+8)
33% Black (+20) 32% White (-32) 28% Hispanic (+12) 6% Asian (+1)

How is it that the nation's most governing environments are polar opposites of the make up of the country itself? Another notion can be proposed to contend a flaw in our fragmentation and sympathy for culture by reviewing the top 5 most dangerous cities in America demographically.

#5 Memphis
62% Black (+49) 29% White (-35) 5% Hispanic (-11) 1% Asian (-4)
#4 New Haven
43% White (-21) 37% Black (+24) 9% Hispanic (-7) 0% Asian (-5)
#3 St. Louis
49% Black (+36) 44% White (-20) 4% Hispanic (-15) 3% Asian (-2)
#2 Detroit
82% Black (+68) 10% White (-54) 7% Hispanic (-9) 0% Asian (-5)
#1 Flint
53% Black (+40) 41% White (-23) 3% Hispanic (-13) 0% Asian (-5)

Cultures are on their own accord to afford themselves better opportunities, the very element that gave whites evolutionary headway on this new continent. We should be willing to askew our unavailing emotions and observe reality, in that some cultures have demonstrated an inability (ref. Africa#Economy) to subsist under their own merit. This can further be demonstrated in the contrasting safest cities list.

#3 Honolulu
55% Asian (+39) 30% White (-34) 20% Black(?) (+7) 3% Hispanic (-13)
(?) 20% makes little sense in that the form also states 8% Pacific Islander.
Only 8%, on a Pacific island?
#2 Portland
79% White (+15) 9% Hispanic (-7) 8% Black (-5) 8% Asian (+3)
#1 Plano
78% White (+14) 10% Hispanic (-6) 10% Asian (+5) 5% Black (-8)

Call a spade a spade and be more functionally observant and acknowledge openly that a spade may be the very problem. The gamut of evolution is fair play. If oppression is your view of a catalyst, recognize that being oppressed is as well a failing. Comparatively, Jews hardly fell victim to such a hindered growth following emancipation (ref. Exodus and Canaan) or perhaps more relatively, the independance of America.

The environmental characteristics we live within today is a trend that has bled into our infrastructure and has now spoiled due to Caucasians being unchallenged. That however, is for another cleansing.
Intellectual Fish Kit
Feed someone and tomorrow they will starve.
Clothe someone and next season they will shiver.
The missing abstract from charity in the third world is the lack of the development of core know, like how to subsist. Normally I would reason, let them wither away because clearly, after 400,000 years of human evolution, if you don't fucking get it by now, you're just an oxygen filter.

The alternative is taking keynotes from evolution and attempting to advance these cultures by utilizing the very basic apparatus of contemplation and communication. This is why we have brought back the Intellectual Fish Kit (#ifk).

The premise is simple, provide the tools for every individual to create and wisdom will pursue. Something as simple as a student preserving notes that he or she can look back upon to the complexity of a man in sub-Saharan Africa notating the gradient of a slope which leads to a hydration system, describing it to another who advances the idea, the notes preserved and dispersed, evolution befalling. All done by supplies we find littered in large bins at a Dollar Tree.
In due time, we will petition you to travel to your local bargain outlet and purchase these specific goods (1), package them as described (2), write a note of your name or merely a best wishes and then send them to a specific distribution hub (3) that will then apportion them to regions around the world that are in desperate need of human acumen. Then you will have the confidence in knowing that you ably lent a hand in not simply feeding or clothing a child but creating the means for an individual to survive on their own in the same merits that you do, wit.

Stay tuned for more on this project as it develops. If you would like to donate to this project so that we can expedite the creation of our distribution hub, please send a request to

DIY NYC Backpack Scythes (ver. 1.01)
If you were to examine the brain of an obese person, you'd likely find (an official Tv Miller theory) that her (her, referencing this heifer that just placed her enormous grizzly bear paw on my electrical cord, crushing the material on an atomic scale) amygdala is disfigured by either genetic malformation or through trauma, thus eschewing nominal personal space perimeters.

Observe a complacent occupant of Manhattan (the most densely populated city in North America) and you will discover the same deformation. The personal space of an individual from this region is subsequently vastly smaller and more invasive to those who have a more nominal point of reference.

This is where our intolerance comes in.

Supplement an inability to contrive spatial recognition, strategic movement or accountability for behavior (cellphone primacy) and you have a sidewalk littered with the discombobulated journeying scatter-shot.

Collisions are frequent. Efficiency is negated. Inconsideration for itinerant SOP is all but disregarded.

No longer has been such in our path, and today we have elevated our response to further combat the unapologetically ignorant.

Behold, with the charms of ancient warfare, four #10 3/4" wood screws embedded very easily by puncturing the material, creating a scythed backpack. Should you aspire to invade our personal space amidst an inappropriate maneuver, you will undergo an "abrasive episode".
But wait, there is more. We are at present configuring a circuit to allow an electrical current to flow to the metal screws and emit a trifling discharge to the perpetrator. Stay tuned for that.

Engineering > Engineering Dump > DIY NYC Backpack Scythes (ver. 1.01)
Orbital Clock - Google Chrome Extension
It's been over 6 years since we first introduced our Live Orbital Time Clock in Javascript. As Macromedia Flash technology became more prevalent, we thusly introduced our Live Orbital Time Clock Widget. The project then lay dormant, awaiting the next opportunity for advancing our integration via presentation.

The Google Chrome browser was released over a year ago and has taken over the interests of the advanced internet user for it's promptness, high-end function, integration and open platform. Supplementing the browser are sub-applications called Extensions. These extensions allow the user to simplify and/or advance user functionality as we drift closer to the "cloud".

We have released a first version ( of the Google Chrome Orbital Clock Extension featuring several advanced and progressive elements. Displayed on the toolbar over the icon is the current day of the year. Once clicked, a host of features such as live orbital and phase positions, a real-time satellite view of the sun and numerous statistics with much more being developed daily.

Bugs are being found and dealt with as well and we are now also welcoming advanced programmers to suggest or create their own features. If you are currently operating Google Chrome, visit Google Chrome Orbital Clock Extension and install to begin employing a more global centric environment.

If you have questions, suggestions or are experiencing any bugs, post them in our comments below.
FleshliPad Concept (Fleshlight iPad Case)
This conceptual design titled the FleshliPad holder, melds the Fleshlight device to a rubber housing for the Apple iPad (or alternative tablet) allowing the cumsumer to interactively reach self-gratification with various pre-recorded multimedia (photograph, video or animation) designed specifically for the tablet-penis interface. This design was recently pitched to Brian Shubin, Vice President of Interactive Life Forms (dba. Fleshlight).

ref. Engineering > FleshliPad
Spartan Race New York Results
Spartan Race
#11099 Miller, Tv
New York, NY
Age Group: MAll
Competitive Wave: Wave 1
Start: 05:59:32.8
Official Finish: 01:07:23.4
Overall: 33 of 258
Men: 28 of 170
MAll: 28


I had a dream it would end this way...laying in a ditch covered in mud and grass, bleeding profusely. Little was I aware that no enemies stood over me but, race promoters. According to the Spartan Race officials, this was their most destructive course yet devised. Built into a ski slope, not one distance held level ground. Immediately you were confronted with a slope to the top that scavenged my subpar cross country training for salt. I find need to hail excuses such as the 3 hours of sleep following 6 hours of work the night before, the improper diet pre-race and inadequate gear, but the truth laid bare when combating grades like this that training was my Achilles'. However, for every distance lost on the hike, I gained on the obstacle. An array of jungle gym accessories were keen to my skill set of agility...sans for one. A Home Depot 5 gallon bucket, gravel and that god damned slope. There was no sweet spot to be found on that ascent. A worthy mention as well to the 36 meter uphill mud and barbed wire crawl followed by (two further ascents and) a downhill ice barbed wire crawl. 1 hour and 7 minutes later I was assaulted by 3 guards of the gates (see video) which now has me here clutching my side, not in agony but as humbled. Succinctly, a worthy contention for the competitive and those seeking mental merits. I come away with assertions to improve. [Photographs: Daniela Travaglini]

[Update] This following video best represents roughly 80% of the course (sans 5 to 7 obstacles and climbs) as run by Guinness record holder and winner Hobie Call (00:39:58.1). Tv Miller is alongside Hobie Call from 00:00:41 to 00:01:00.
Elderly Car Guide "Granny Car Glide"
Transporting elderly individuals frequently can cause headaches as you balance them into and out an automobile. The Granny Car Glide aides this process by creating a comforted buffer between a standing and seated position. In a thin housing hung behind the passenger seat, the support easily slides in and out for convenience. Once extended, simply contracting the aluminum, plastic and foam-cored layering and affixing the support 'strap' takes mere seconds. The entire unit is then supported further by the solid 'strap' making contact with the edge of the automobile door frame.