Kei Dildo
The cache of womanly g-spot vibrators at your local tanned hidery are often on the ball (puntown, pop. you) though not much for fulfilling the third dynamic of rhythmic penetration and/or seamless friction. The solution, turn that sum-bitch sideways and stick it up your candy a--well, vagina. This adjustable spiral dildo nicknamed "Kei" (#keildo) adapts to you first. With the AOA and distance adjustable by a flexible inner shaft (puntacular) the dildonic device is inserted as you would a screw (punis anyone?). The domed tip applies pressure to the Gräfenberg spot as the looped surface nudges the clitoris honeypot. Once activated, two individual vibratory servos pulsate the tip and bow. The exuberant cumsumer may then torsion the apparatus using the flanged ergonomic handle, allowing for distribution of the inner vibrating tip, curved clitoral stimulator, feathered edge and fluent penetration. Now, if only we had the funding for a laboratory, a Thing-O-Matic and bait...er, qualified intern. [Engineering > Kei Dildo]

The (our) male alternative to be soon distributed by Fleshlight Inc. is as always displayed on our FleshliPad and Fleshldroid page within the Engineering menu. Shameless plug secured.
Star Wars Emperor Hand Shower Head
Bathe in the dark side.


Engineering > Star Wars Emperor Hand Shower Head
Star Wars emblem and references are trademarks of Lucasfilms Ltd.
Those Guys Merchandise (Coming Soon)
Look for Those Guys merchandise to be flying off the shelves (then being noticed by the owner, violently thrown out and used as sanitary wipes by the homeless) soon. In the meantime, remember to disregard any religious vices on the 62nd (3-March) as Those Guys debut at Millennium Pro Wrestling in Simi Valley, California. Stay tuned for more information on how you can watch live from wherever you are around the world, excluding Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.

Special grievances to resident artist and aspiring pornography mustache collector Christopher George Wiley for illustrations.
Toilet (1) Draft
In engineering, there are but few objects that are the holy grail of design. So imagine if you will; 7 billion people, 7 billion moist piles of sheèt. Everybody poops and in the civilized world, this defecating of defecation is done squared over a porcelain mecca.

But, it's wrong!

The contemporary Western seated posture we are all too familiar with is biologically more dangerous than squatting, as Nature has mitigated by the evolution of the hominid from ape to man. Add to this my personalized engineering angst towards splash-back and generalized inefficiency and we arrive at a severally flaw contraption.

For years we have ventured and failed to evolve this brilliant device and unfortunately this is no different. While this draft is an attempt at the evolution of the idea, it does not answer all queries that are required for a solution. It does however beckon the notion of a happy median by accomplishing the following...

1. Lessened surface area for seating, giving the user a defined ergonomic backside posture coupled with a raised curved step to elevate the legs and allot some irregularity to lessen interest in procrastination.

2. Lessened interior surface area for minimizing resources and interior dynamics for advanced placement layering of feces for efficient controlled evacuation.

Meanwhile, lay off the aesthetics quips. I am attempting to dismiss Adobe Flash and elucidate one's self with Google Sketchup. *whimper*...there doesn't happen to be anyone with any inkling of the ability to CAD who would like to collaborate, would there? Eh?

Engineering > Toilet (1)
Fleshldroid - Fleshlight Android Tablet (FleshliPad Remix)
In light of our recent success (Gizmodo) (The Register) with our Fleshlight iPad concoction we dimwittedly labeled the FleshliPad, we rescued from the vaults this adjustable variation for the vast-ering array of Android tablet dimensions we then cleverly titled the Fleshldroid. Tablet copulation should not be limited to the Apple impaired.

Stencil Spray Box
We are currently employed on a side job that entails can paint spraying well over 900 individual 3" stencil numerals, which has proven to be quite tasking outdoors (ex. wind) and no less than on a raised vertical surface. Additionally, commonly purchased stencils are unforgiving in clearance boundaries, giving little means to efficient expedient processing. Thus, our concept, the Stencil Spray Box. More DIY than not, which is inadvertent. Further modifications would include scales for placement trajectory, a level and expandable guides for larger stencil allowances.


tvmiller.com/static.php?page=stencilspraybox
Truffle Taco Finale
You voted and we listened, especially since you voted for the selection we had already decided upon without you. Yesterday afternoon, we patroned a local New York City Indian themed Taco Bell and dined on presumably the first ever white truffle beef Soft Taco Supreme (no sour cream). As we dined on this Italian-exican delicacy, we took a moment to give thanks to all those who we squashed under-our-thumb this past year. From scorning a toll booth attendant to an impoverished homeless schlub with a cigar, each a lesser sophisticant © than the likes of those who would venture to spend thousands of dollars for an uprooted fungus. Woe to those whose stomach do not now churn acids and mold, for you are but meager mentions of angst towards our beleaguered technological comforts. In all, it was four day old shaved Earth feces soiling a perfectly proper processed taco.
Pet Door Brush (Updated)



[Update] Yowza! When engineering a new project, we are often quite liberal about researching existing materials before moving forward and (ungracefully) while we disagree with their particular methodology, we will surrender that this (currently unavailable) one slipped through the cracks. [dogdoorgenie.com]

[Update Part Deux] Ours is better. If anyone wants it, we demand 23.75 per cent and our services labelled, Analogue Anatomical Contortion Deviation Toilance. It's rubber, genius.
In The Meantime, Sandwich Recipe #4
As we fester here in this pre-#Project47 lunch break limbo, why not have a Tv's #4 sandwich on me; layered as described.

Sheepherder's Bread Slice
French's Yellow Mustard
Shredded Cheddar Cheese
Oregano
Basil
Marjoram
Garlic Salt
Black Pepper
Turkey Ham Slices
Minced Garlic
Olive Oil
Sliced Cherry Tomatoes
Diced White Onion
Romaine Lettuce (Marinate in Orange Juice)
Shredded Parmesan Cheese
1000 Islands Dressing
Sheepherder's Bread Slice
Brainwashing #1
We are temporarily (archetypal) initiating a new series here on tvmiller.com where we harken back to our original commentary series, but abridge it into a sole thought-of-the-day.

Episode #1 Environment Dictates?

Here's a bit of a quandary. Washington D.C., New York City and Chicago are perceived as representations of capitals of the United States of America and even deemed capitals of the world in a similar manner. There is, however, a slight burden with these environments representative of America.

(To note, Los Angeles has been excluded because the "entertainment capital of the world" denomination has done very little to entitle California to hold an overwhelming bearing on legislative matters, especially since Northern and Southern are so drastically divided fundamentally.)

The national demographic of the United States of America as of last year was:
64% White 16% Hispanic 13% Black 5% Asian

Washington D.C.
50% Black (+37) 30% White (-34) 9% Hispanic (-7) 4% Asian (-1)
New York City
33% White (-31) 29% Hispanic (+13) 23% Black (+10) 13% Asian (+8)
Chicago
33% Black (+20) 32% White (-32) 28% Hispanic (+12) 6% Asian (+1)

How is it that the nation's most governing environments are polar opposites of the make up of the country itself? Another notion can be proposed to contend a flaw in our fragmentation and sympathy for culture by reviewing the top 5 most dangerous cities in America demographically.

#5 Memphis
62% Black (+49) 29% White (-35) 5% Hispanic (-11) 1% Asian (-4)
#4 New Haven
43% White (-21) 37% Black (+24) 9% Hispanic (-7) 0% Asian (-5)
#3 St. Louis
49% Black (+36) 44% White (-20) 4% Hispanic (-15) 3% Asian (-2)
#2 Detroit
82% Black (+68) 10% White (-54) 7% Hispanic (-9) 0% Asian (-5)
#1 Flint
53% Black (+40) 41% White (-23) 3% Hispanic (-13) 0% Asian (-5)

Cultures are on their own accord to afford themselves better opportunities, the very element that gave whites evolutionary headway on this new continent. We should be willing to askew our unavailing emotions and observe reality, in that some cultures have demonstrated an inability (ref. Africa#Economy) to subsist under their own merit. This can further be demonstrated in the contrasting safest cities list.

#3 Honolulu
55% Asian (+39) 30% White (-34) 20% Black(?) (+7) 3% Hispanic (-13)
(?) 20% makes little sense in that the form also states 8% Pacific Islander.
Only 8%, on a Pacific island?
#2 Portland
79% White (+15) 9% Hispanic (-7) 8% Black (-5) 8% Asian (+3)
#1 Plano
78% White (+14) 10% Hispanic (-6) 10% Asian (+5) 5% Black (-8)

Call a spade a spade and be more functionally observant and acknowledge openly that a spade may be the very problem. The gamut of evolution is fair play. If oppression is your view of a catalyst, recognize that being oppressed is as well a failing. Comparatively, Jews hardly fell victim to such a hindered growth following emancipation (ref. Exodus and Canaan) or perhaps more relatively, the independance of America.

The environmental characteristics we live within today is a trend that has bled into our infrastructure and has now spoiled due to Caucasians being unchallenged. That however, is for another cleansing.