"Wait, we can refuse service?!" #Starbucks, probably. #SarahSanders #RedHen
19:56:12 96 018
Miter
Stencil Spray Box
We are currently employed on a side job that entails can paint spraying well over 900 individual 3" stencil numerals, which has proven to be quite tasking outdoors (ex. wind) and no less than on a raised vertical surface. Additionally, commonly purchased stencils are unforgiving in clearance boundaries, giving little means to efficient expedient processing. Thus, our concept, the Stencil Spray Box. More DIY than not, which is inadvertent. Further modifications would include scales for placement trajectory, a level and expandable guides for larger stencil allowances.


tvmiller.com/static.php?page=stencilspraybox
Truffle Taco Finale
You voted and we listened, especially since you voted for the selection we had already decided upon without you. Yesterday afternoon, we patroned a local New York City Indian themed Taco Bell and dined on presumably the first ever white truffle beef Soft Taco Supreme (no sour cream). As we dined on this Italian-exican delicacy, we took a moment to give thanks to all those who we squashed under-our-thumb this past year. From scorning a toll booth attendant to an impoverished homeless schlub with a cigar, each a lesser sophisticant than the likes of those who would venture to spend thousands of dollars for an uprooted fungus. Woe to those whose stomach do not now churn acids and mold, for you are but meager mentions of angst towards our beleaguered technological comforts. In all, it was four day old shaved Earth feces soiling a perfectly proper processed taco.
[Poll] Tuber Magnatum Fast Food Cuisine '071
We have recently obtained (gratis) 0.31 ounces (est. $94US) of Alba madonna, better known as the esteemed white truffle. This ectomycorrhizal fascist fungi is a prized delicacy around the world for, despite initially smelling like the foot of an obese Italian woman following hours of labor, it's intoxicant odor and inimitable palate. Due to it's exclusivity, white truffles are traded on a market during peak Fall seasons for exorbitant fares. [ex. 1 oz. $304.99US]

This is of course, idiotic...and subsequently where we come in. We need your assistance in deciding how best to enjoy this elitist ration. We have narrowed down our selections of finer cuisines to garnish to the McDonald's McDouble (no cheese) or the Taco Bell beef Soft Taco Supreme (no sour cream). You have 24 hours to vote before lunch. We will live tweet the results and dining experience tomorrow (14.30 325/071).


Are you a stalker of crudely displaced bile-esque snacking commentary by mediocre-stars? I am as well, which is why I listen to Mike and Tom Eat Snacks. Give a listen, won't you? Oh, and it's free. Very important to note, free.
A Considerate Suicide Method (Capt. Miller's Knot)
As society begins to once again break down, many of the weaker clansmen will find themselves more apt to flee. While they will attest to feeling sorrow for those they abandon, they will fail to acknowledge the elaborate task it becomes to dispose of their corpus from some conceited stunt to become a mortician's refuse.

Welcome, you morose son of a bitch. The following procedure will furnish you, the bullied, with a recycling technique for the relief of those who are sincerely better off if you were to perform this act and (sod-) off yourself cleanly, naturally and promptly.

[Step 1] Take a brief (as to not bore us) mobile phone video of yourself, apologizing for the grief you have given us all for your measly existence.

[Step 2] Leave your unlocked mobile phone positioned and/or opened to this recording on your desk or counter where one might easily discover it, and toss it aside disinterested.

[Step 3] Visit your local hardware store (ex. Home Depot) and purchase 6 feet of 1/4 inch nylon and polypropylene braided rope ($8.00US)

[Step 4] Go to a remote wooded area such as a forest, river, savannah, mountainside or anywhere unpolluted by people that abhor you.

[Step 5] Reference the following diagram(s) to tie a Capt. Miller's Knot around your neck, placing the crux of the lashing immediately below the Thyroid cartilage.


[Step 6] Seat yourself, then take a hearty breath and pull the ends taught.

[Step 7] Struggle you stupid bastard and look at what you've done. Witness the world in all it's grandeur as it slowly blurs. Worth it now, isn't it? Too late.

[Step 8] Gasp. Die. Decay. Recycled. Thank you for your sedimentary compliment to our Earth...the one useful application of your life.

This guide is an aide to the living in the disposal of the walking dead. Please do not attempt this at home, instead, refer to [Step 4]. No essential humans were harmed in the making of this document.
Orbital Clock Google Chrome Extension (ver. 6.5.3.82)
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Politicks - Where's American Waldo
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Been There, Done That...Again
Once again, coincidence? Noyesmaybe, and here is why. We notioned a few years back of a device (novelty-ally) that would allow two interfaced users to have their specimens analyzed mid/post coitus, upon the rationale that today's technology is already capable of analyzing blood samples on the fly. Loes Segerink, a researcher at the University of Twente in the Netherlands, has approached our logic that we had lobbed into the Engineering Dump, once again proving...



1. CNET: High-tech 'fertility chip' measures sperm count...
2. Engineering Dump > Condopatibility


Sionic Fork
The next step in over-complicated eating has arrived...you're welcome. Say dinner is served and you want to amp up the cuisine. The home chef removes the Sionic forks from their charging station and you prepare to dine as royalty...assuming they as well have Sionic forks.

Here's a brief notation on cooking. Heat accelerates molecules in the food, changing the density and composure of the material to make it more edible..and deader. Microwave ovens use a method of dielectric heating to accomplish this task more efficiently.

Meanwhile, once disengaged from their charging station, and no larger than a vibrating toothbrush, you puncture the flesh of the deceased animal or vegetable corpse, causing the pressure sensor to briefly (1.5-2 seconds) activate the servo which pulses the head of the fork lodged in the ruffage, exciting the molecules.

Elsewhere, your fingers are pressed on the handle of the fork in a comfortable ergonomic position to your gaping maw which puts the ionic action into, um...action. The already prancing about molecules are then further enticed as the soon to be poo reaches your taste buds in a now even higher explosion of taste.

But wait, there is more. When the Sionic fork is set on the table, it's rested on the Sionic 'heating plate' (rechargeable in stack) that gradually warms the head of the two pronged fork, giving each bite an internal temperature of yum.


Project 47 Subway Flyers (Coming Soon)
Who's to blame? Why, you are!

As our society descends into chaos from a lack of sustainable chaos challenging our innate masculinity, the delicate constitutions of others has established allowances for absolute imbecility. From etiquette to culture to character, what was once intolerable is now barriered by margins of inappropriateness to discuss.

Project 47 would like to offer our most sincere screw that by posting these (and more) flyers initially throughout the New York Metropolitan Subway system in the coming weeks. Stay abreast of our Twitter feed for live updates and photographs as they occur. #changetheworld



[Update] Two more flyers have been added, bring the total to six.