"Wait, we can refuse service?!" #Starbucks, probably. #SarahSanders #RedHen
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Miter
Earphone Cord Static Retention
Headphone wearerers have all experienced a loose cord tugging free from reaching or catching. The market offers cord retention clips which restrict movement, tear away and/or crimp clothing. Obviously it's our turn.

A fibrous slotted tag (imagine a dryer sheet or gauze as reference) with very little provocation can be statically charged by briefly rubbing the tab(g) along an article of clothing. This will then aid in the retention of the cord to anywhere on your clothed person whilst walking, reaching or bending over. It will then also remain easily freed should you extend beyond the movement of the cord's limitation and as easily, often autonomously, returned to a suspended position. The image below is an approximation the while a more aesthetic version is more likely.

Engineering > Earphone Cord Static Retention
Those Guys BPW Moratorium
Ultrasound Transducer Concept
A classified sonography technicianologist did not recently challenge us to conceive a transducer that dispenses ultrasound gel. Inevitably, we took it a step further to relieve fatigue and have first drafted this limber concept.

Modeled after a convex or linear probe, the pencil grip has been replaced with a palm down position, allowing even pressure, mor stable maneuverability and ergonomic comfort. A thumb wheel freely rotates the lower base, allowing the operator to reach sans an awkward wrist positioning or discomfort to the patient and ease of transition on radial imaging scans. On the keel of the lower base is an access to store a small volume of gel which is dispensed via a levered pump operated by the ring and four finger.

Engineering > Ultrasound Transducer
Why Not? Erogonomic Mobile Phone Camera
To recap, the Why Not? series interrogates overly complex components in practice today, ie defied no-brainers, such as asking why a more comfortable mobile phone camera angle seems to be protested by a sole minute element easily trounced, lens scratch protection?

99.9 per cent of mobile phone owners will operate their device in the comfortable ≤ 45 position. Engineers feel that then holding the phone vertically at eye-level is an easier design ingredient to cheat regardless that it is less comfortable for the user both physically and visually. A more stable platform is in the innate operational position which is adapted to both biological attributes. Thus, we have to ask, why not?

Engineering > Engineering Dump
Why Not? Open Challenge to McDonald's
To: Don Thompson
Chief Executive Officer
McDonald's Corporation

McDonald's sells 9 million pounds (144 million ounces) of french fries per day. Presumably, the most popular size sold is the medium french fry with a serving size of 4.1 ounces. Assuming a margin of 50% (72 million ounces) we may conjecture that an estimated 17.5 million units are sold per day. Each unit comprises of a folded card stock, printed double sided, four color (see ex.)

Recently, as it has several times in the past, the price for such products have increased. (ref.) As the dollar premise evaporates in spite of the relative decline in your average consumer's wealth, there is a noticeable increase or lack of elasticity in benign marketing. While color coordination is proven to influence one's senses, an abundance upon consumer byproduct appears conflicting with a more efficient business model.


Suppose you were to reduce print by up to 70% and stock by 10% for said 17.5 million units? 60% of savings variance then applied to regulating price increases would arrest a sales decline and bolster consumer and investor confidence.

This challenge to you is to utilize the green model as a facade for reducing the requisite of resources to increase market and consumer stability. A reduction in novelty is a resolution to sales and profits that this current economic environment demands. The culture of influential packaging can be more efficient while remaining effective.

Moreover, my blood boils at the notion of paying a further thirty cents to a purposefully distracted moron (ref. today's NYC youth) who relies on a gaudy beep to inform them of their already failed qualities at workmanship the while we stare through seams around windows that are blockaded with garish posters of familiars.

[TVMiller is a former shift manager and avid consumer of McDonald's products and has been ejected from several New York City locations for intolerance.]

[Update] Support this notion by copying info@mcdonalds.com then clicking on the email button below to forward this article to McDonald's.
Modern Cinema?
As modern man's head pineappling increases from it's bubbly person(ality) the while already listing forward from typing a 161 character two message reply I don't know in response to where should we eat, the movie theatre experience suffers. Regal Entertainment, you're welcome.


Miscellaneous > Website and Graphic Design
Peak Roller Coaster
As Project 47 is reigned in closer, we have begun drafting numerous projects currently delayed and/or in long term development, as a means of record. This several year old roller coaster concept titled "Peak" reaches many new heights in thrills and other fay effigies.


Constructed into a fabricated mountain spire, this high speed coaster's marquee attribute is the peak departing world's highest vertical loop. At ground level, the themed inclined queue mimics a base camp that leads the rider up the slope to a boarding tent. The car then travels along the face of and throughout the mountain and is hurried towards the peak using a drive tire slope that releases back into the mountain and then out into the vertical loop. The car then scrapes the face of the mountain, once again returning inside for a conclusive vertical loop which exits from the interior and returns the car to the 'base camp'.


This project is currently delayed for obvious reasons however, we look forward to an opportunity in the future to reimagine this concept for real application. Further images are available at Engineering > Peak Roller Coaster
Why Not? DIY Tracheotomy Flower Pot
Are you a repulsive rag who's corrupted your meager existence and those around you by being a nerveless pansy? I can tell, seeing as you likely obtained that tracheotomy by doing what simple camping taught you was unhealthy, not inhaling smoke. Now you're frightening the children with your supplemental orifice and robotic discourse, so let's spruce up your decayed visage with a DIY tracheotomy flower pot.

Visit your local flower shop, purchase an aqua tube and sever the end, then treat your cancerous throat like the inside of a VW Beetle. Furthermore, when you have finally succumbed to your inbred stupidity, the in-coffin flower arrangement could be exquisite.


Engineering > Engineering Dump
VibraFingerBall Thing?
Titles of projects have always perplexed us and following the FleshliPad "incident", it is especially difficult to comprise an applicable nonclementure, unless overstating the obvious. This is our third of apparently an eventual fourth sex toy, once again for the ladies, that we have blatantly titled, Finger Ball Vibrator. Venture a guess as to it's application? [Dimensions: 1.5" diameter / 0.7" aperture]

Engineering > Finger Ball Vibrator
Those Guys MPW 2nd Annual Zoogz Rift Memorial Elimination Match


Special thanks to Christopher Wiley and Brett Walters